The Master of my Fate, The Captain of My Soul
When I was nine years old, my dad took a sabbatical and brought the whole family with him to Johannesburg, South Africa.
After all these years, I can still recall certain vivid memories from that time. Decades before apartheid ended, in 1971, our family of seven lived in Joburg on a professor's salary. We had a modest white stucco house surrounded by a small lush green lawn, protected by a big white wall that made me feel safe.
The house also ‘came with’ a stout African woman named Eselena, who had glowing skin and bright eyes. She only spoke Zulu and lived in a small hut behind the house. I remember her floor was made of dirt, and she decorated her walls with pieces of newspaper. Her little home often smelled of lamb, as she loved to cook, and she welcomed me into her space.
Although she was meant to be our maid, our mom only asked her to help with laundry and occasionally babysit. I remember that on Sunday mornings, she made us homemade french fries. She brought a warm and cozy feeling to our family. If my parents went out for the evening, I would peek out from my bed and see her lying on the floor by the front door, offering her body as protection for us.
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I also remember walking to school with my older brother and sister in our school uniforms, summer straw hat or winter wool beret. After school, we would stop at the corner store to pick up an afternoon snack; my favorites were salt and vinegar and prawn cocktail crisps. I would munch away while sitting on a bench marked, “whites only,” and drink from a water fountain designated for white girls. I didn’t fully understand the implications of this segregation at the time. I knew that life in South Africa was very different from my home in America, but I didn’t grasp the reasons why.
Last night, Ron and I watched the movie "Invictus" again. Although we had seen it before, I enjoyed it just as much this time. It stirred up many emotions, prompting me to reflect on the feelings I experienced in my childhood. If you're not familiar with the film, I encourage you to watch it. The story is based on the 2008 book "Playing the Enemy" by John Carlin. It details events in South Africa before and during the 1995 Rugby World Cup, which took place at the end of apartheid. Nelson Mandela serves as the president, and the movie illustrates how he strategically uses the rugby team to help heal a divided nation. The poem "Invictus" also inspires me. Written in the late 1800s and published on my birthday (some 150 years earlier), it gives me a special connection to its message.
Read more INVICTUS A POEM TO INSPIRE
Just as I experienced the harsh realities of segregation in my childhood, I also remember Eselena as a happy woman. Her constant humming, bright smile, and contented demeanor never made me question her sense of self. She impacted me as a child, and I continue to recall these positive feelings today. In essence, the poem’s message is that, no matter what life throws our way, we are always the masters of our fate and the captains of our souls. You are so capable and worthy of being the master of your own life.
It is in your hands to create a meaningful, healthier, and happier existence.
Affirm: I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul.
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